The last few months have been quite a change for me in Second Life. I had this idea of what I liked and didn’t like. Idea of what I wanted my SL life to be and then BAM in an SL second it’s destroyed. Of course as I’ve blogged in the past having a serial alt player for a partner kind of destroys a lot when you think you’ve found a great match for you in SL and then realize it’s what he wants you to think. I considered saying good bye to SL forever. I am able to talk to those that are important to me outside of SL and have a tendency to talk to them more on yahoo or plurk then I do in world in general but I had put in almost 4 years of my life into SL and I didn’t want to quite give up because someone decided to having 4 wives instead of 1. I won’t let someone or anyone run me out of SL and no one should. I was thinking about what to write in this blog then I had a great conversation with my peanut Madelyn Seetan. She always makes me smile and made me realize a few things.
While I don’t know that I can forget how wrong I was treated I think I can forgive. I was really upset about the way he treated me in those 48 hours, like I never meant anything at all, even as a friend, that I could be thrown away like a piece of trash who didn’t put in time in SL with him, that defended him and risked some very special relationships because of him. I still to this day feel like I never truly got a sincere apology from him and I think that’s what hurts the most. While I am not always vindictive I felt that way for a long time and when I finally let that go, I realized that I wished him no harm and hoped that whatever he was looking for in SL he found.
With that, I started playing my lil avi alt again and it turned into something I hadn’t expected but even that had some changes and slight drama to deal with before I had settled into this new role I had found.
Jewelbella was originated back in December of 06, with the help of an amazing friend of 4years in SL Babydoll Stardust. She helped me learn the ropes of being a child avi and while I wasn’t playing her often (my adult avi was where my life, my kids and the majority of my relationships were) I did love the idea of being a kid. I have nothing in RL that I want to relive in SL as a child. I had a wonderful childhood with two very loving parents. But playing a child in SL is so different then ever being a child in RL. So in August I began playing Jewelbella “Bella” Devinna pretty regularly.
I began rebuilding my relationship with my Daddy Coleman Ansar. We had some interference with our relationship, silliness to be exact but I’m glad the truth came out and I’ve once again been deemed “Daddy’s girl”. Sadly my relationship with my then mom came to an abrupt end when she preferred to live in a world of drama then actually try and build a better relationship with me. I mean I can only take so much “your daddy’s an ass and he’s going to hurt you.” So much right? But with that, I gained the most amazing Momma Livvy Fhang. She started as someone I trusted, loved to be around and just a really good friend and turned into something so much more special. For the first time in SL I had found two amazing parents who never ever forget about me, always think about me and never leave me out of anything. There is nothing more special then to get off lines when they miss you or for them to just want to spend time with you. (oh and I got a new sissy Skylia just yesterday so not enough time to blog or get a picture yet..)
I have an amazing Sissy Kaity whom I love so much, she brings with her My Aunti Loraine and my cousingoddaugtherexdaughter Candii. I have an amazing Grampa Angel and Aunti Beth. I am fortunate to never have lost Dolly, Maddy, my beautiful Daughter Kia, hubby Naith, my sunshine Mabel and my beautiful Rose. They stood by me when all seemed to have failed. I am forever grateful for all their love and support and can’t imagine a day in this life without them.
Life is good today, life is always great when you let go of the negative, let go of the hurt and forgive. When one door closes you never know when another will open and when it does you could find the most amazing experiences. I’m so glad I opened the next door. It’s been completely and utterly amazing.
<3
